EPISODE 2: OUT AND ABOUT

Coming Out of the Closet: Salga te de alli!
Self-Recognition as Gay Is Your First-Thing
“I like Boys/Girls or Both”. Accepting your sexuality is filled with complicated ideas and nuances about the realization of feelings towards the same sex. Coming Out often brings with it feelings of anxiety, fear, and out-and-out denial.  You may seek counseling and maybe even a renewed religious commitment in order to overcome these feelings. It’s some HEAVY stuff to realize but hopefully, a period of acceptance will follow these feelings of stress and grief.

Accepting one's sexuality, for some people, comes with excitement because all of those feelings towards others are somehow finally answered. There are also feelings of confusion and fear. There are so many people that have gone through this same identity scramble that you can seek out someone who has gone through the stages of coming out before and understands your feelings. You’re not the first one…and that is a good thing.

Diciendoles! Telling others.
Coming out and then talking about being gay to others is dicey. One usually tells a close friend or family member. Rejection by this person could really hinder your own self-recognition. Acceptance by this person can lead to an increase in self-esteem and confidence. Be sure to be prudent about who you tell first. Be good to yourself and choose someone that has the best possibility of this being a positive experience.
As you seek to understand yourself, you will gain a general sense of what it means to be gay. You will then be able to accept or reject different stereotypes and perceptions about gay people.

Going Out Amongst the Chusma (Socialization with Other Gays)
Being around and with other gays is important when accepting your sexuality. It can introduce you to and make you feel welcomed to a new world, erasing feelings of loneliness. Often we find that pride and self-esteem are built through acceptance, validation and support. Getting to know other gay and lesbian people can be very influential and beneficial.

Finding and Fronting. Positive Self-Identification.
Find other positive homosexual relationships. Find your “Peeps”. Find a comfort level with yourself regarding your sexuality. Y Frenta lo con Argullo!

Self Acceptance: Esto es lo que ves!
You’ve gotta’ be open and accepting of your own sexuality. If you choose to be quietly open and out, you can still be available to help support others. You can also choose to make a difference by living your truth, Volunteering for gay organizations and maintaining positive gay friendships. Some couples live happily and seek other couples to socialize with as well.
Some active and socially conscious gay people are more often proactive by donating to gay causes. They can be politically active and visible in the gay community. They may choose to support activities such as with Sun City Pride and the Borderland Rainbow Center in El Paso.

WACHATE!
Be cool and measured when coming out and telling others you are gay, LGBTQIA+. There is no one way of coming out. You are the author of this story but, when telling others avoid being messy about it. Avoid or minimize any pain or drama.

HOW NOT TO…. (No la cagas)
1. Don't Come Out in Anger
When we are angry, we are often irrational. Coming out in an argumentative way can make the situation emotionally charged with bad outcomes as people say and do things they don’t mean when full of emotions. If you are calm about it, you can keep control of the situation, get your feelings across, and foster some mutual respect.
2. Don't Come Out to Hard Heads
Your sexual orientation is yours alone and should be disclosed under your terms. If you invite negativity and conflict into your decision you can waste a positive opportunity for yourself and other gay people. If you know someone is homophobic, allow them to live in their own reality. Living your best life will bring you peace without the problems of distaste in others. Try not to preach to a wall and hope that eventually, AGARAN LA ONDA!!!
3. Don't Come Out Through Someone Else’s Mouth
A loved one should hear that you're gay directly from you. It may be easier to come out through the words of someone else but you run the risk of being misrepresented. Time, energy, and emotion can be wasted with rumors; this can be skipped with a face-to-face conversatin or even a letter.
Frenta lo tu solo/sola!
4. Don't Come Out When You're Not Ready
Coming Out is up to you to decide when, where, and how to do so.  You are not required to handle it the way your friends have.  If your sexuality is disclosed before you are ready to discuss it, be sure to respect how much of your story, you are willing to share. When you tell those who truly care about you, you will have allies as you set out to face the rest of the world.
-Izzy Mora

Sources for people who may need help coming out:
Borderland Rainbow Center
https://www.borderlandrainbow.org/services
 
Human Rights Campaign
https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out
 
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.